One of our members Isabel Smith Wedding Design has written the below article.
Being a planner is like being a doctor, or an interior designer, or any other profession which involves a service rather than a product, in that as soon as you mention what you do, people ask you ‘oh, my sister’s getting married, do you know any good DJ’s?’ or ‘Where do you stand on monochrome?’. Whilst these can get a little tiring depending on the situation, generally, I don’t have a problem helping out with an answer or two.
But occasionally, you get the dreaded ‘I don’t suppose you could help me out on the day could you?’ and this is where things get sticky. Partly because when I first started out, I was so keen to be helpful to my friends and show off my knowledge (not to mention gain experience), I was happy to help, but now I find I am so busy balancing my weddings, the marketing/accounting elements of the business and my personal life, my time is much more precious to me.
The other problem though is finding the client/friend balance. Unless the friend in question is a particularly close one, with whom you can be totally honest, it is often easier to be firmer with a client than a friend when insisting on having the information you need by a certain deadline or pointing out that having the decorative items delivered the night before would take a real pressure off the wedding day.
My advice therefore to anyone starting out who is looking to broaden their experience by assisting friends or family is to set the parameters early on, as you would with a client. This is even more true if you are to be a guest at the wedding as well, since there will come a point when you will want to clock off and enjoy the day.
You may not feel that a contract is necessary, but a frank discussion about what you will and won’t do, and the way that you work will not only help to prevent any problems later on, but it will also give you practice at negotiation when you do start getting paying clients. To help keep things on more of professional level, perhaps you could discuss payment of some kind - if not in cash terms, maybe they have a skill that could help with your business (know any accountants, web designers or PR types?)
Thank you Isabel, how have you found working for friends?
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